Every parent wants to give their child a happy, healthy and prosperous life. In order to achieve it, they have to support, guide and inspire them to learn to succeed in their life. The ‘motivation factor’ plays a key role in your child’s overall development. The requirement of this ‘motivation factor’ increases manifolds when they prepare for highly competitive exams like NEET, JEE etc.
If your child is also preparing for medical or engineering entrance exams and feels demotivated, it can be a source of great worry and sometimes even despair – and that’s where the problem begins. Ask yourself the following questions before taking any action:
- Does your worry compel you to nag, push or over-function for your child?
- Does your irritation cause you to yell, scream or punish your child?
- Does your fear about your child’s average performance in the exams cause you to keep trying to get him to be more motivated?
If yes, you’ve probably seen your child resist, rebel or dig in his heels harder. You might eventually get him to do what you want, but your goal of getting him to be self-motivated is still not achieved.
You can try using the following phrases to boost up the energy of your child when you feel your child is demotivated. These may help them get the required motivation at the right time.
“I am proud of you.”
Your children need to know you value their efforts. It is highly recommended that you say this to your child frequently and not just when they achieve something worthwhile. Taking pride in what your child does is different from being proud of them for who they are.
We are not saying it is wrong to be proud of your children for what they have accomplished. But you have to understand they need your appreciation to stay motivated and achieve more in life. So, the next time you see your child displaying kindness or putting those extra efforts to score well in the exam, don’t forget to say that you are proud of them.
“I am here for you.”
One-on-one talks with your kid are important for tapping into a child’s intrinsic motivation. Tell your children they are free to make their own choices. After all, they will learn from their mistakes only.
You can guide your children to separate the wrong from the right. But you cannot force them to do what you feel is right. By telling that you will stand by them, you are gaining your children’s confidence and they will be assured of help if things get tough.
“Go for it!”
Your child learns from you and your behaviour is the key to motivate your child. One of the best ways to inspire intrinsic motivation in your child is to help them feel a sense of competence.
Encourage your child to take challenges that will help them get a growth mindset. By growth mindset, it means believing the fact that our ‘talent’ is malleable. Help your kids master new skills. Mastering a new skill will become their biggest internal motivator, and will encourage them to learn even more.
“I love you, unconditionally.”
This is probably one of the obvious things to say but is often ignored. Your child needs to know that you love and accept them no matter what. Saying “I Love You” to your child may sound a bit awkward at first. But you should try to make it a habit to say it at least once a day.
People tend to perform better and stay motivated when they know they are being loved and taken care of. Understand that when you yell at your child for lack of motivation, you are encouraging their resistant behaviour. You need to be patient and persistent to get your child motivated.
“You will be rewarded for your efforts.”
It is true that awards and gifts motivate children to do activities. Life is a journey, not a destination. Reward your child for the small milestones that they achieve like scoring well in the mock tests or completing their syllabus as per the plan. This will send a message that you respect the hard work rather than the outcome.
Rewarding your kids for keeping up when things get tough, for trying things they are not sure of, for making a sustained effort can help teach them the pleasure of pushing themselves. Praising for something that can come easily will make your child feel they shouldn’t have to exert themselves.
Your child needs your support and motivation to learn how to grapple with the world when getting ready for the competition in exams like JEE and NEET. Motivating your child seems like a formidable task. But you must have realized the more you engage your children with respect, the better response you get from them.
I hope the above-mentioned phrases help you see the desired change in your child’s attitude. Make a small step by using these phrases and you will be able to boost the motivation level of your child.